Happy New Year to all and may good tidings come in your way.

Despite the rest afforded by the Chinese New Year festive season, I still felt restless and a very big load of unsettlement weighing upon my chest. I was torn between the need for solitude and a desire to break free. Needless to say, even though the Year of Ox is supposed to be good for those born in the Year of Rooster, it did not start off exactly with the high note I hoped it would.

I took vacation today, mainly because I wanted to sleep in and because I felt I needed a reprieve – to have some time to myself, doing the things I like and regaining my equilibrium. I was listening to music and twirling around in my room, I was watching “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” and in the later part of the day, I was out shopping in a therapeutic fashion if you caught what I mean.

I never really like Cate Blanchett till today. I always thought she was too oddly surreal-looking but in “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button“, she can make twirls so beautifully as a dancer that now my heart leaned in her favour. And the chic dressing.

For what it’s worth, it’s never too late, or in my case too early, to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit… start whenever you want… you can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that stop you. I hope you feel things that you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life that you’re proud of and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again. — Benjamin Button

And strangely after I heard this quote, I teared a little and felt a whole lot better. Even things seemed to take a turn for the better by themselves.

And I found Love, in the form of a keychain, just like the one in the “Sex and the City” movie, to be like Louise – to remind myself to have faith. I am such a movie junkie.

Louise and her Love

I am sitting down right here to type my new year resolutions even though I found it a challenge to keep them but still without dreams, Hope is a bird that cannot fly. So here goes the list:

Be Happy.

That’s it? “Be Happy”? Two words?

Two words to define a brand new year and what better things can you ask for than to be happy all year round – to be loved by family and friends, to feel blessed for what you have and learn to live with what you can do without. Despite what everyone else might think, I am actually really simple at heart.

It hid shyly behind the other wooly, sequinned forms of its kind, ashamed of its brightness, feeling slightly vulgar and out of place. With the fact that Christmas is now officially over and moving onto the New Year, it felt even more conspicuous amidst the blacks and grays.

“Why couldn’t I be a shiny shade of black or a sophisticated colour of gray?” it thought miserably, wedging further into the racks, hoping that no one would disturb its hiding place. Sinking deeper into its own thoughts of self-pity, it hardly noticed a girl yanking it out into the spotlight. Caught in surprise and being in the dark for too long, it suddenly became dizzy and the world started spinning out of control while the girl whooped in delight, running her hands over its corseted spine, sending delicious shivers into the folds of its being.

Before it could say “Hallelujah!”, the girl clutched it tightly into an embrace and headed for the fitting room. Here it heard her whisper “Please, let me fit. Let me be able to have the choice to buy or not buy you.” For the first time, it looked earnestly at the girl. She has a mass of black hair down her back and the longest lashes ever seen, casting a fringe of shadow over her pleading eyes. It also noticed that the girl is rather plump in shape and would not fit the other svelte versions of its kind. It liked how the girl enfolds it in warmth. It liked how the girl looks at it in admiration. To a dress who felt inferior for a long time, it felt accepted for the first time.

When the girl tried to stretch into its fabric, it did its best to accomodate her but it turned out to be rather futile. The girl slid easily into it and stared at the mirror for a long time. Breaking into smiles, the girl started twirling round and round in the little enclosed space and when she finally stopped, she looked into the mirror at the green dress again.

“You are perfect.”

Even though I didn’t have a date to snuggle up with for Christmas this year (yet again) but I still embody the hopeful Christmas spirit and kudos to DW for offering to be my makeshift date. He was so hurt when I said “No Max Brenner!”.

So Merry Christmas to you my friends and kindred souls. Have a good one!

Gtan, she obviously cannot estimate for a 13 person proportion. She bought enough food for another round of party and the round she cooked for us on Saturday was more to feed an active 26 than than the odd, impecunious number of 13. I’ll engage her as my caterer for a void deck wedding, I told her in cheek. I’ll pay for a hundred pax and get two hundred pax worth of delicacies, I surmise. It all makes good financial sense.

But it must be known that I appreciate all her efforts to whip up a homemade feast for us. She planned way ahead in advance, she was worried about her housewifely attempts, she fussed, she nagged and she tried to make it perfect. I enjoyed the ham and cheese croquettes and her fried chicken wings. Since there were more than enough food to go round, she packed everything in plastic bags and fostered it off us to take them home. I had them for lunch and dinner on Sunday too. And for those lonely men who did not have their families in Singapore to celebrate the Winter Solstice (冬至) with, we gave them double portions so that they can have a share of family warmth (we know in reality we needed people to bring back everything!).

Caterer Tan's Creations

I have not watched a movie in ages and I know it sounds incredulous that with my taste for independent, foreign and strange movies, I chose Twilight, a novel-turned-movie by Stephenie Meyer. It bored Mouse to sleep but I was deeply and wildly infatuated by Robert Pattinson, whose fair and vampirish looks stirred the deepest desires and his eyes, oh his eyes, held me spellbound. Which vampire when coming into contact with Sunlight has his trim bodice turned into a mass of glittery specks and so beautiful that it hurts to watch him?

He did.

Robert Pattinson