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Monthly Archives: December 2008

I am sitting down right here to type my new year resolutions even though I found it a challenge to keep them but still without dreams, Hope is a bird that cannot fly. So here goes the list:

Be Happy.

That’s it? “Be Happy”? Two words?

Two words to define a brand new year and what better things can you ask for than to be happy all year round – to be loved by family and friends, to feel blessed for what you have and learn to live with what you can do without. Despite what everyone else might think, I am actually really simple at heart.

It hid shyly behind the other wooly, sequinned forms of its kind, ashamed of its brightness, feeling slightly vulgar and out of place. With the fact that Christmas is now officially over and moving onto the New Year, it felt even more conspicuous amidst the blacks and grays.

“Why couldn’t I be a shiny shade of black or a sophisticated colour of gray?” it thought miserably, wedging further into the racks, hoping that no one would disturb its hiding place. Sinking deeper into its own thoughts of self-pity, it hardly noticed a girl yanking it out into the spotlight. Caught in surprise and being in the dark for too long, it suddenly became dizzy and the world started spinning out of control while the girl whooped in delight, running her hands over its corseted spine, sending delicious shivers into the folds of its being.

Before it could say “Hallelujah!”, the girl clutched it tightly into an embrace and headed for the fitting room. Here it heard her whisper “Please, let me fit. Let me be able to have the choice to buy or not buy you.” For the first time, it looked earnestly at the girl. She has a mass of black hair down her back and the longest lashes ever seen, casting a fringe of shadow over her pleading eyes. It also noticed that the girl is rather plump in shape and would not fit the other svelte versions of its kind. It liked how the girl enfolds it in warmth. It liked how the girl looks at it in admiration. To a dress who felt inferior for a long time, it felt accepted for the first time.

When the girl tried to stretch into its fabric, it did its best to accomodate her but it turned out to be rather futile. The girl slid easily into it and stared at the mirror for a long time. Breaking into smiles, the girl started twirling round and round in the little enclosed space and when she finally stopped, she looked into the mirror at the green dress again.

“You are perfect.”

Even though I didn’t have a date to snuggle up with for Christmas this year (yet again) but I still embody the hopeful Christmas spirit and kudos to DW for offering to be my makeshift date. He was so hurt when I said “No Max Brenner!”.

So Merry Christmas to you my friends and kindred souls. Have a good one!

Gtan, she obviously cannot estimate for a 13 person proportion. She bought enough food for another round of party and the round she cooked for us on Saturday was more to feed an active 26 than than the odd, impecunious number of 13. I’ll engage her as my caterer for a void deck wedding, I told her in cheek. I’ll pay for a hundred pax and get two hundred pax worth of delicacies, I surmise. It all makes good financial sense.

But it must be known that I appreciate all her efforts to whip up a homemade feast for us. She planned way ahead in advance, she was worried about her housewifely attempts, she fussed, she nagged and she tried to make it perfect. I enjoyed the ham and cheese croquettes and her fried chicken wings. Since there were more than enough food to go round, she packed everything in plastic bags and fostered it off us to take them home. I had them for lunch and dinner on Sunday too. And for those lonely men who did not have their families in Singapore to celebrate the Winter Solstice (冬至) with, we gave them double portions so that they can have a share of family warmth (we know in reality we needed people to bring back everything!).

Caterer Tan's Creations

I have not watched a movie in ages and I know it sounds incredulous that with my taste for independent, foreign and strange movies, I chose Twilight, a novel-turned-movie by Stephenie Meyer. It bored Mouse to sleep but I was deeply and wildly infatuated by Robert Pattinson, whose fair and vampirish looks stirred the deepest desires and his eyes, oh his eyes, held me spellbound. Which vampire when coming into contact with Sunlight has his trim bodice turned into a mass of glittery specks and so beautiful that it hurts to watch him?

He did.

Robert Pattinson

And I attended this graduation party for people who took up a program aimed at changing something in their lives. It was like intensively reading “Chicken Soup for the Soul” in 3 hours. These people are obviously looking for something, in need of something and want to do something about it.

I was touched yet unaffected. It’s obvious the program brought a change to their lives. They found the courage to believe and the tenacity to do things. It may not necessarily be a grand scheme of things. It could be something as simple as learning to improve family relationships and in the case of another girl, seeking to break free from a marriage that no longer had any worth in retaining. It involves discipline and structured actions on how to achieve it in a matter of 7 weeks. I was touched because most of the attendees were depressed and inferior to begin with and through the program, they found a network of supportive individuals who render them the assistance they need. I don’t know if you believe this but if you rally yourself in a group of highly motivated individuals, the positive energy has a way of rubbing itself onto you and you find yourself doing what the Romans do. I was unaffected because I just know that I can do whatever I want if only I set my heart to it and I am not about to pay a good sum of money to learn what my capabilities can realize me and garner a cheerleading team.

But seeing the change it brought to my two friends, I had nothing but gratitude that their lives are not made the same. If that is what it takes, it is what it is.

Pancakes

DW, you know I totally meant to keep my promise about buying your book when it comes out next year.

Recently, I’ve been spontaneously keeping in touch with a few of my old friends (Thanks Facebook!). You know how sometimes you can hang out a lot with some people and then all of a sudden, you just stop. It’s like stepping the brakes but yet you don’t know why. The sad thing is that more often than not, when you don’t actively keep in contact, you just lose sight of each other and become uncaring till something reminds you again of the great times you had with these people and make you reminisce. For me, the alarm was an unexpected message from Yiting.

I’ve not met DW and Yiting for maybe years now and even Buaya Ben whom I think I just had prata dinner with not that long ago comparatively (in my opinion), had been neglected for a year so I’m rather hyped about tonight and longing to see them again.